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Joke of the Day
"In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes."
Next Joke
"I've run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon."
"When a dating site tells me ""Someone new likes you!"" I get angry because I'm there to meet adults, not babies."
"My mf kid poured a bag of Cheerios crumbs in my bed like she saw the horse head in godfather and thought I can beat that"
"Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt."
"A man walks into a fancy dress party carrying a woman on his back... The host asks the man why this is so. ""Oh, I'm a tortoise and this is Michelle"" says the man."
"I got my retainer today So pleathe excuthe me if i talk funny for a few dayth"
"What did the 1 gay guy say to the other gay guy in a bar? Can I push in your stool."
"Wife: Did you measure for carpet? Me: Yeah, from the window Wife: Don't Me: To the wall Wife: Don't Me: tothesweatdripoffmyballs! *runs*"
"Do You Like Wendy's? Well you're not gonna like it Wendy's nuts are bouncing off your chin."