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Joke of the Day
"Jesus died for our sins. But then he came back to life. Pretty sure that breaks the deal."
Next Joke
"Why don't dirty commies shower? Because they don't want to wash away their Marx."
"I made a drink called Hit The Road Jack It's Jack Daniels mixed with methanol. (Blind jokes are the best kind)"
"Peeing is Foursquare for dogs."
"Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill? You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp."
"News: Trump inauguration met with record high temperatures. 451 degrees Fahrenheit."
"I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back."
"Karma's only a bitch if you are."
"I think my entire family is racist. I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me."
"I'll apologize for last night right after you tell me which parts you still remember."