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Joke of the Day

"What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian? They had a feast of fun."

"Ants can lift 20 times their bodyweight which is really helpful if you ever need help moving a single blade of grass."

"A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius."

"What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle? A carpet."

"My wife is angry because I brought home a B.L.T. instead of a roast beef sandwich. Oops, wrong sub."

"Why can you trust noone in the savannah? Cause they be lion."

"What were the infinite number of Indian Mathematicians complaining about? That the Hilbert Hotel didn't book Uncountables."

"I have such a bad cold that when I breathe through my nose, it sounds like Marge Simpson sighing/expressing disapproval."

"What do Jews get at night during the holocaust? Not z's"

"If you love a woman, you shouldn't be ashamed to show her to your wife."