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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine? If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks."

"Girlfriend just called me by my full given name.This is gonna end poorly."

"Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? On the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"What's good on pizza, but not on pussy? crust."

"I love walking around the house naked. Damn neighbors keep complaining. They think I should do it in the house."

"Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free but underneath it's covered with rust Dealer: Yes sir. The car is rust-free. We didn't charge you for it did we?"

"I was going to make a joke about thailand... But Phuket."

"What do you call two physicians? A paradox"

"confucius say when you take old hooker to all you can eat seafood you walk away with a big bag of crabs"

"*turns on shower* *shower whispers ""eat donuts for breakfast"" & ""get drunk tonight""* Me: Wow, that's some serious water pressure"