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Joke of the Day
"A moral compass is just a clock that isn't drunk enough."
Next Joke
"I've been exaggerating... ...since 1744."
"""You could have done so much better than him."" Me: Mom, I'm right here."
"30 seconds staring confused at the calculator app before realizing why my phone wasn't calling the number I dialed."
"Women's soccer"
"Saw Marshawn Lynch at the eye clinic a few days ago. He told me he was just there so he won't get blind."
"A doctor tells his patient he has to stop masturbating... probably NSFW ""Why?"" the man asked. ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""
"I walked into a room full of men and they couldn't stop staring at me. Oh...wrong toilets."
"How many Donald Trumps does it take to change a lightbulb? One, he holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him"
"What do you call the state of having confidence? I'm sorry, it's confidential."