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Joke of the Day

"You should always choose B) on multiple choice tests because it looks like a cool sunglasses face. That guy knows what he's talking about."

"Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!"

"I went for a run and got back two minutes later because I forgot something, I forgot I'm fat and can't run for more than two minutes."

"When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress."

"Depressed cows feel like life is udderly hopeless. But now there's hope. Ask your doctor if Cowbucil is right for your cow."

"[at the gym] Trainer: You want me to spot you, bro? Waldo: Please don't do that."

"whats the best thing about an ethiopian blowjob? they always swallow"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Princess Leia Barbie ...Barbie with the hairdo from Star Wars"

"I forgot to pluck my eyebrows while getting ready this morning. It was an oversight."

"When a cop pulls you over, never start a sentence with, ""This may be the alcohol talking, but..."" Trust me on this one."