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Joke of the Day

"The Lesbian couple next door... got me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"Did you hear Sea World is removing their Orca attraction? Whale it's about time!"

"I've just been to the hospital where the doctor told me my DNA was backwards. And?"

"Why arent koalas actual bears? They dont meet the koalafications."

"Sorry my diet made me slap the oreo out of your toddler's hand and scream ""NOT TODAY SATAN!"""

"I like my coffee like I like my women Cinnamon roasted, french pressed, with bit of sugar, and I'll add my own cream."

"How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb."

"Imagine me riding a bike. Wrong. There's no seat."

"I'm not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes."

"Two gay deer walk out of a bar... One turns to the other and says ""damn dude, I cant beleive you blew twenty bucks in there"""