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Joke of the Day

"Today I was on the treadmill for over an hour. I was so pleased with my progress that tomorrow I might actually turn it on"

"My relationship with my cat is like that of a married couple. Basically we fight a lot and never have sex."

"hey honey... ... you remember that really posh restaurant we ate at? 'sure... i guess so' ... what about that one time i undercooked the chicken? 'YES. EVERY DETAIL'."

"What do you call a noisy Chinese dog? How-Ling (my dad wanted me to post this)"

"Why did the French Hen give up her job? One day she'd just had un uf."

"There's someone out there for everyone. Don't worry if you're alone, your true love is just having sex with someone else right now."

"How many times can you watch the Godfather movies before you're bored? More than a Coppola times....Solozzo times I guess..don't be a Fredo gettin' addicted to it.... It's Kay :)"

"How are Jail and Olive Garden Similar? Free Endless Salad Tossing"

"What's the worst part about being gay? You cant think straight."

"House Hunters: We need plenty of space for entertaining, 62 bedrooms, a fully staffed Cheesecake Factory & a heliport. Our budget is $287."