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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a fake orgasm and a fake Christmas tree? Not everyone can tell when you have a fake Christmas tree."

"I'm happiest when people tell me ""Don't be a hero"" because there's absolutely no way I'm going to disappoint them."

"What Obama is doing right now Sitting in the oval office with iPhone headphones on watching Mr. Robot. His advisors knocking on his door. ""GO AWAY!"""

"What do you call a Jihad male cow? Abominable"

"I've been thinking about Oscar Pistorious's case... I don't think he's got a leg to stand on."

"How is 'crazy' like a freshly baked pie? You have to let it cool off before you put your dick in it."

"Why is a bullet like a gay man? When it gets it in the ass, he blows his load!"

"new book out: ""How I Fell Off a Cliff"" by Eileen Dover"

"""Meet sexy singles in your area!"" Why do I always recognize the girls in the ""Meet sexy singles in your area!"" from 4chan? I didn't know there were so many girls in my area on 4chan!"

"'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA."