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Joke of the Day

"I've been thinking about Oscar Pistorious's case... I don't think he's got a leg to stand on."

"What if sun screen is really just a seasoning rub created by aliens."

"[Original] What do you call it when two Cox company vehicles pull into your driveway? Double penetration."

"A priest, a rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Violets are green, roses are blue... Alright you bastards, who fucked with the hue?"

"Back in my day bathrooms were used for taking a sh*t, not as a photo-booth!"

"What did the dejected man say to the considerate calculator trying to console him? It's the bot that counts."

"I got fired from the health spa. A psychic came in and asked for a back rub. I gave him one, but then I got in trouble for massage-a-mystic behavior."

"Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Dogs and house intruders What did 15 of my former dogs and the intruder have in common? They were delicious."