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Joke of the Day
"Chuck Norris can squeeze blood from a stone. He must feed his children."
Next Joke
"Damn girl are you baking chocolate? Because you're bitter as fuck."
"Him: I love redheads. I could totally see you being a great wife. Me: I could totally see you being a great chalk outline."
"Did you know when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and punch them in the face."
"My dad used to wash my mouth out with soap... But that was just to get rid of the DNA evidence."
"Saw this quote behind a auto rickshaw I couldn't afford a Volkswagen. Thus, auto."
"What does ISIS and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both have Kurds in their way."
"My friend told me she has herpes. I told her it's not the end of the world, just a few bumps in the road."
"My girlfriend was commenting on my big feet... I said, ""Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet..."" She replied, ""You're gonna be disappointed!"" [true story]"
"Every time I lay down in bed I think 'why didn't I do this sooner?'"