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Joke of the Day

"Him: I love redheads. I could totally see you being a great wife. Me: I could totally see you being a great chalk outline."

"Q: Why did the pacifist /b/tard try to calm everyone down? **A:** He did it for the *lullz*"

"All dogs go to heaven... But all snakes are athe-hissssssssssts"

"What did the bee say to the flower ? Hello honey !"

"Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ? She was trying to get ahead !"

"""ooOOOooo"" ""oooOOoo"" ""oooOOoh"" ""OoOOooh"" --spirited debate"

"I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not? "

"People who wait 3 hours to respond to a text ""LOL"" should be punched in the neck. Your not fooling anybody. You weren't LOLing that long."

"My wife asked me what I was doing today... ...I said ""nothing."" She said, ""You did that yesterday."" I replied, ""I wasn't finished."""

"Star Wars (1977): A wounded warrior overcomes severe burn injuries to build a massive empire only to see his estranged son destroy it."