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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was commenting on my big feet... I said, ""Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet..."" She replied, ""You're gonna be disappointed!"" [true story]"

"Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? (FIXED) He's black, it shouldn't be that hard."

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, ""that's a little condescending."""

"If I had $1 for every time a girl has rejected me... I wouldn't be single anymore"

"I'm sorry I slapped you but you didn't seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked."

"Washington DC's IQ is the same as the Federal Reserves interest rate Theyre both negative."

"The softest type of toilet paper is cats."

"My telethon to raise money for starving children in Africa was a huge flop. I didn't know the TV added 10 pounds. Those kids looked fine. :("

"Have you heard of the hypochondriac who had issues with his bowels? He was always full of shit"