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Joke of the Day

"Hey guys let me know if you figure out a way for me to rt myself. Some of these are pretty great."

"The awkward moment when you remember something but you don't know if it was real or just a dream."

"""If you don't let the Jews go, I will find you. I will kill you."" Liam Neeson returns in... TAKEN 3: SCHINDLER'S PISSED (Summer 2015)"

"There are 3 types of people in this world People that can count and people that can't."

"""Are you on Facebook?"" ""No, but I'm on.. (don't say twitter, don't say twitter) ..Mescaline"" (Nailed it)"

"If you've never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive ""to work"" to get a chick to leave your house then you're not me."

"If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."

"Friend: Are you growing your hair out? Me: I have no idea. Honestly, I never thought I'd live this long"

"what did the Eskimo girl say after she lost her virginity.... iditarod"

"Why did the lawyer have sex with the devil? Because he'd already screwed everyone else!"