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Joke of the Day

"Why were the Native Americans upset when it rained in April? Because April showers, bring May flowers!"

"How do you know if your wife is dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up."

"How do you know if a chick used a vibrator while she was pregnant? The kid stutters"

"What do you call a Persian lesbian? A flying carpet muncher. I'm so sorry."

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Unless he's a vegan then I'm pretty sure you can just get there through his pu$$y."

"My body is a temple, please leave pizza and tacos at the altar."

"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance of not going to work tomorrow. Tequila gives you a 1 in 3 chance."

"(Awful joke)What did the Elephant say while scolding her children? Tusk Tusk I am so sorry"

"Why couldn't the Italian get into his house? Because he had gnocchi."

"Who always wins at musical chairs? Rosa Parks"