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Joke of the Day
"Who always wins at musical chairs? Rosa Parks"
Next Joke
"Descartes walks into the bar. The bartender asks him, ""will you have your usual tonight?"" Rene replies ""I think not"" and he disappears."
"Lots of world leaders coming to DC. I hope Obama's Nuclear Summit goes well. Bush's Nucular Monster Truck Rally is a hard act to follow."
"Why are portraits of George Washington displayed in British bathrooms? Because nothing makes the British shit quicker than the sight of George Washington"
"*leans back in chair* wow, what a great question. I guess I'd say my biggest weakness is the 5 felony convictions I left off my application"
"What do you call Trump and Hillary buried up to their necks in sand? Progress"
"When does a joke become a dad joke? After the delivery (Pls....just let me go and don't hurt my family)"
"Spending this evening saving Princess Zelda, because Princess Zelda has never 'accidentally' hooked up with her Sociology T.A. while abroad."
"I got a sweater for Christmas. Wish I'd gotten a screamer or a squirter."
"How does a feminist kill a spider? Not, she is not man enough to do it."