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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the Italian get into his house? Because he had gnocchi."
Next Joke
"What do you call a basin full of denim? A gene pool!"
"*do a little dance* *make a little love* *get kicked out of this funeral*"
"Me: *in bed with dogs* *car drives down street* Dogs: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A NOISE WHILE OUR HUMAN IS SLEEPING, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
"Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma. Teen: Huh? Doctor: He's in airplane mode now. Teen: OHHH NOOOOO!!"
"Who took my username? When I find you, well, you'll be sorry!"
"Women's magazines: 20 pages ""accept yourself"" 40 pages ""loose 30kgs in 4 weeks"" And Cake recipes.."
"I can't let my girlfriend leave me I'd lose a hand"
"""You lie like a doge!"" I tell my wife. ""So deceit!"" I add. ""Very fraud!"" I mention. ""Much fiction!"" I point out. ""Wow,"" she says."
"I asked Nurse Joy if she could examine me. She said ""I'll take a Pikachu."""