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Joke of the Day

"today, my girlfriend asked me for a dick pic.... but the NASA didn't let me use the Hubble Space telescope.."

"How to stop being intimidated by dates Just think of them as big raisins."

"When someone tells me, ""I think of you as family,"" I assume I'm about to be yelled at for something that happened 10 years ago."

"How many people who subscribed to r/The_Donald does it take to screw in a light bulb? Obviously more than one because it's still dark in their mother's basement."

"Q: Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy? A: Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd be aspirin tablets!"

"Apparently the most common surname In China is Chang. ...correct me if you think that's Wong."

"Why does George Zimmerman keep popping up every 6 months or so? Is he the McRib?"

"Why can't you tell when a Pterodactyl goes to the toilet Becuase the P is silent"

"A man comes home from work one night to catch his blonde girlfriend sliding down the banister naked. He blurts out ""What do you think you're doing?"" ""Just heating up dinner"" she replies."

"What's the national bird of Pakistan? US Army Drone"