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Joke of the Day
"Gold chains would make a great retirement gift. For a VERY good slave."
Next Joke
"I asked my friend if he ever went skiing. . . ""Not in real life, only in Florida."" "
"Q: What did the atlantic say to the pacific? A: Nothing. It just waved."
"[Therapist's office] Husband: She takes everything, literally T: What do you mean? *Me walking out the door w/ the floor lamp I'm stealing*"
"Why did ISIS throw the gay prostitute off the roof? He didn't bring in enough Jihadi Johns"
"I'm hospital for an appointment and I saw a toddler playing with a donkey toy. ICU baby, shaking that ass"
"if you have penciled-on eyebrows I can't hear a word you're saying because I'm staring at them"
"Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds? I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps."
"""Give it to me!"" she yelled. ""I'm so fucking wet!, give it to me now!"" She can scream all she wants... I'm not giving her my umbrella."
"I need to buy a 4k TV, no matter what. It's my new year resolution."