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Joke of the Day

"The hardest part about breaking up with your Japanese girlfriend... Is that you have to drop the bomb twice.."

"My friend said trepanning is a bad idea... ...but it's okay, he's just close-minded."

"What's the difference between 'Oh' and 'Oooh'? About three inches"

"An egg and a chicken are lying in bed, the egg's enjoying a nice, post-coital smoke... Chicken looks over and says ""Well, that answers that question. """

"What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Ten-ish."

"Here's a promise - if a scuba shop is within sprinting distance of the ocean and they let me try stuff on I'm not paying for a damn thing."

"I didn't expect a bug to crawl out of my Meth stash... But it just came out of the blue."

"Once I came across a bridge that was half concrete and half covered in asphalt It was a real hybridge."

"What is the phobia of chainsaws called? Common Sense"

"I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself. No fence. Nun taken."