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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between 'Oh' and 'Oooh'? About three inches"

"My girl threw this one at me right before bed: ""Do you know why I don't like going to the dentist?"" Because they always do a full cavity search!"

"I don't want your undivided attention. I want your multiplied attention. Make clones of yourself and give me all of their attention too."

"What qualifies as a ""short stack"" of pancakes? I mean, 2.5 feet is relatively short, right? Yes? Okay cool. Then I just ate a short stack."

"What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant."

"If your coffee tastes like mud... It's probably fresh ground..."

"What do you call a gay French baker? A faguette"

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt."

"Dark Jokes Post your darkest joke in the comments"

"Fun tip - instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you're sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire."