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Joke of the Day

"A guy goes to his Rabbi to price a circumcision... He says, ""Rabbi, how much do you charge for a circumcision?"" And the Rabbi says, ""Not much, I just keep the tips."""

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"I just opened a Capri Sun in the dark, sup ladies"
"I'm worried about the calendar... Its days are numbered"
"What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite-time story."
"I hate Russian Dolls They're so full of themselves."
"What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself."
"""I love accounting!"" -Italian guy who loves to count."
"Hillary got 60% of the black's votes in Alabama That's right, not a single vote for Bernie."
"Do you know what a Freudian slip is? It's where you say one thing but fuck your mother."
"Spotting Idiots Online I wish there was some way to identify idiots online. Sent from my iPhone"