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Joke of the Day

"Yelled at some skinhead today & he was all like ""chemotherapy, dude"" & I was like, ""whatever, racist"" cause sometimes you gotta take a stand"

"What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country"

"Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?"

"A woman tries to flirt with a depressed man suffering from ID crisis in a bar. Woman: Hey! Who's the handsome man here? And the dude goes ""Oh God! Not again! Who am I?"""

"I have an outstanding credit score and even know a dude named Tanner but I'm still not white enough to drink pumpkin beer."

"A dad says to his son, ""Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you're going to go blind."" ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"Bruce Wayne: I wanna fight crime. Alfred: You're a billionaire. Open orphanages, free clinics, day care cen- Bruce: No I wanna punch people."

"It's greats having your doctor say you're narcissistic. It's like being compared to the stuff of legends."

"""Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior?"" ""No."" ""Why not, sir?"" ""Because, it would make my rabbi sad."""

"What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer? An attornity."