77904

Joke of the Day

"Modern day Paul Revere still warns about enemy incursions. But now it's one if by LAN, two if by wifi."

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. and thinks ""Some asshole has my pen""."

"Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them."

"What did the clock do when it was hungry? Went back 4 seconds"

"My fortune cookie reads ""I peed in your fried rice"" and it's hand written..."

"Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise."

"When I die, I want to go like my grandpa..... Peacefully in my sleep, unlike them whinny kids screaming as the bus went off the cliff."

"What kind of porn does Smurfette make? Blue Cocky."

"Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called ""Everybody"", and we meet at the bar."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am schizophrenic. I am too."