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Joke of the Day

"I like a lot of different kinds of breakfast, but I only eat one at a time. I'm a cereal monogamist."

"When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker."

"What do Ethiopians have in common with Yoko Ono? They both live off dead beetles"

"what's the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal makes your hole weak."

"Hottest fabric on ramps in Paris this season: Kevlar..."

"Trying to decide who to leave my middle fingers to when I die."

"If you're turning left with your car, which wheel steers less? The spare one! :P"

"Studies say people with high IQ are lazy. Of course I didn't read the entire article."

"I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza."

"So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way."