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Joke of the Day

"I bet the frankincense guy was all like, ""Let's put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us."""

"What is Hitler's favorite thing to eat? Not seafood."

"midterms and finals are like prayers to god. i never get answers."

"Today I found out what it was like to play a FPS First person shoveler. gg blizzard."

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts"

"Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless."

"What did the Wife-DNA say to the Husband-DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?"

"Teacher: ""Which book has helped you the most in your life?"" Student: ""My father's check book!"""

"I like my woman like I like my shoelaces. Curvy, loose, and easy to finger."

"You know you're hung over when people recognize you but they think you're E.T."