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Joke of the Day

"The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off."

"How can a man go 7 days without sleeping? Sleep at night"

"WIFE: Don't embarrass me in front of my boss, he's colorblind ME: Duh [later at party] ME: [to boss] So when did you learn Colorbraille?"

"There's no wrong way to eat a Reeses Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear"

"How is Star Trek like toilet paper? It circles Uranus looking for Klingons."

"Why did the melon have commitment issues? Because he cantaloupe"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Mormons."

"I dumped my gf as she had OCD Odorous Cunt Discharge"

"what is a short, yet a long password? 1 to 8"

"Did you know if you weigh yourself, then take a dump, then weigh the dump & weigh yourself again, you'll be banned from Walgreens for life?"