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Joke of the Day

"I was reading in the paper today about a midget that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"

"Ever since my son got his first girlfriend, I've been changing the bed sheets much more often. Whenever I imagine him knocking her up, I shit myself."

"sometimes i get frustrated because u cant put numbers in caps 12 am I screaming? you'll never know"

"How many letters can you wear on your feet? 10 E's"

"A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. 'Why don't you play with your friends?' he asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'"

"Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan I heard the girls are hella thirsty"

"I just took the Bruce Lee of dumps. It fucked my ass all up."

"How do you call an insanely rich proton that spent all of his money to become an electron? Ex centric"

"So Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom Cruise... Apparently she found out that he'd been in A Few Good Men."

"Which is the most common font i Mexico? El Vetica."