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Joke of the Day

"My dad was walking around the house screaming yesterday.... He kept shouting, ""A, E, I, O, U"". ""What's wrong?"", I asked him. To which he responded, ""Nothing, I just have irritable vowel syndrome..."""

"What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat? One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different"

"R.I.P Dense Water Vapour. You will always be mist."

"Pregnant by Jesus How come my wife never gets pregnant when Jesus screws her? Because she tells Him to come into her heart."

"The plane starts going down. I say, ""If we die, know that hat is hideous"". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since."

"I always ask Subway workers if THEY want double meat, then wink. Then I get kicked out."

"How to make your God proud? By abusing his names in other languages."

"I'm gonna open a bakery in Germany. I'll call it ""Gluten Tag!"" K-THX-BAI!!!!!"

"A and C were going to prank their friend... ...but they just letter B"

"A black guy walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender looks at him and says, ""That thing is really cool! Where did you get it?"" The parrot replies, ""Detroit"""