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Joke of the Day

"[blind date] Her: so do you go on a lot of dates? Me: *sucking the gravy from my plate* a lot of first ones."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill am Irishman? Zero."

"Why do pirates like TIG welding so much? Because they have a good supply of ARRgon."

"My girlfriend bet me a blow job that I couldn't go the whole day without making a period joke. I said, ""You're on."""

"What do you call someone who likes speed? Racist."

"Richard and friend arguing Richard makes good point Richard's friend says mark my words Richard Marx"

"I'm single by choice. But it's not my choice."

"Why did the shark keep swimming in circles It had nosebleed."

"A Jehovah's witness knocks on a Mexican's door. The Jehovah's Witness asks, would you like to know Jesus? The Mexican said, I already do. He's next door."

"What's the summer weather like for a London criminal? Hot, wet, and muggy."