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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank herbal tea before it was cool."

"Say at cat 'Im rubbin ur belly' while rubbin belly, 'Im pattin ur head' while pattin head, else never learns anatomy, becomes Texas senator"

"How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing? They look in the obituary"

"Roses are red Violets are blue Stop clicking your pen when you talk to me Kevin I swear I will murder your face with my tape dispenser"

"""I don't need any love from any man. I only need to love and be loved by ONE man. He is the Son of God, JESUS!"".......just say u have been dumped."

"The Bermuda Triangle A.K.A.... Clinton's Inbox"

"hey tomorrow you could be hit in the head by a block of cheese so frickin live ur life today before you have to wear ice on ur head tomorrow"

"Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia? Because he's snowed-in"

"I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up. Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll."

"Did you see the new joke posted on reddit? It's almost 3 years old"