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Joke of the Day
"Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies!"
Next Joke
"What do you tell a cow blocking a road? Mooove"
"What do you call a group of famous people? Constellation."
"If you need your iPhone repaired in Jerusalem, you obviously go to the Genius Bar. There, they don't serve alcohol..., ....but there's plenty of Apple Jews."
"I like winter.. ..it's cooler than summer"
"Why do white girls always hang out in odd numbers? Because they can't even."
"TIL that Charlie Sheen got HIV after doing Two and a Half Men."
"Don't know whether to be disturbed or enchanted that the word sesquipedalian is onomatopoetic"
"are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]"
"Asking someone out is so unpredictable. You never know exactly how they're going to say no."