192101

Joke of the Day

"What's the best part about fingering a Gypsy on her period? You get your palm read at the same time...."

"[guy jokingly refers to america as 'murica, everyone starts applauding; I basically hork up a damn lung from laughing my shit off so hard]"

"Call Me crazy, but the ideal number of times a Pope should have once been a member of the Nazi Youth is zero."

"I just told a girl her eyebrows were drawn on too high. She looked surprised."

"DO NOT OPEN.PLEASE. I like you, you little rebel."

"I have a date this weekend with a girl who has a shoe fetish... But I'm a little worried about getting off on the wrong foot."

"How often did the asian cow go to the gym? Dairy"

"What kind of bread do Rednecks like? Inbred"

"Welcome to ghosts anonymous. Nice to see such a spirited turnout. *all of the ghosts boo in unison*"

"HITMAN: Who's the target? ME: [slides photo across table] HITMAN: You..want me to kill Shrek? ME: Not Shrek [taps photo] his talkative horse"