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Joke of the Day

"Why is USA so gloomy? Because only two parties exist for the whole country"

"After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me."

"a guy jacks off with pictures of his girlfriend he realized they were blank"

"Dad: Why are your eyes red, son? Son: I smoke weed, dad. Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a faggot."

"Let's shoot some hoops. I hate those fucking things. Maybe we can play basketball afterwards."

"If I had a dollar for everytime I got laid... I'd be a prostitute."

"I love you guys with all my ass. I would say heart, but my ass is bigger."

"I'm a true sportsman... I have a tennis elbow, A golfer's shoulder, And athlete's feet."

"Ugh: I hid three dozen raw eggs in the house last night after taking Ambien and now I can't find them."

"Why can't you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree? Because they are really good at it"