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Joke of the Day

"The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. It's ok though, she always comes crawling back."

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"

"What's the difference between a Southern wedding and a Southern tornado? Nothing - either way someone's gonna lose a trailer *shamelessly stolen from Robin Williams"

"At first I wondered why the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me."

"Dear Apple, Sorry to hear that you're still figuring out how cell phones work."

"ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, ""So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."""

"8: Daddy can we go to a haunted house tonight? Me: You spent the night at Grandmas last week. 8: What? Me: Nothing. 8: I'm telling mom."

"Customer: Waiter I can't eat this meal. Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me. Customer: I don't have a fork."

"Why didn't the bird cross the road? It chickened out."