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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the bird cross the road? It chickened out."

"What happens to a politician when he takes a Viagra? He gets taller."

"""Can't beat fresh apple pie"" she says, setting 1 down. I slam my fist into it. 3rd degree burns. ""Wrong"" I whisper 4 hrs later in the ER."

"I had a nightmare where Footloose was rebooted as many times as Spiderman."

"""I can dish it out, but I can't take it."" - Lactose intolerant ice cream man"

"Q: Why was the chicken happy? A: Everything was eggcellent."

"Dog keeps sighing melodramatically. I know he wants me to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not falling for it."

"I don't care what your bio says. You retweet me, it's not only an endorsement, it represents the views of your employer."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the referee calling fowls"

"Two flies were sitting on a piece of poo. One farted. The other said 'do you mind? I'm eating.'"