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Joke of the Day

"It's impossible to lick your elbow. You never let me. Please. I want this."

"What do you call an autistic stoner? A baked potato"

"How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door. Put in the elephant. Close the door."

"*flips a quarter into jukebox from across room, jukebox spits it back at me, it goes down my throat, ""wake me up before you go-go"" plays*"

"My son just paced back and forth dictating his letter to Santa like a high-powered CEO. Forget Prada, the Devil wears Ironman pyjamas."

"A German entrepreneur is opening up a new furniture department store. Word is, its going to be called Kikea."

"Programmed Siri to respond to any request with ""That's what she said."""

"What do a plate of homemade brownies and a golden shower have in common? Urine for a treat."

"My friend told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today. ""Really!?"" I asked. ""No,"" she replied, ""April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."" That'll teach her to try to be funny..."

"What is the difference between a woman and a terrorist? With a terrorist you can negotiate"