200515

Joke of the Day

"My son just paced back and forth dictating his letter to Santa like a high-powered CEO. Forget Prada, the Devil wears Ironman pyjamas."

"Google search history: Marawana Marjawana Is there a j in marawana Wheat Wheat for smoking Free wheet"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? LET'S GO RIDE BIKES!"

"Cooking with Hitler Step 1. Turn on the gas"

"A horse walks into a bar He saddles up to the counter. The bartender asks ""Would you like a drink?"" The horse replies ""Neigh."" (I'm so sorry)"

"your Lonely Score is the maximum number of forks a takeout place has given you for your single person food order. my score is 4"

"At the car dealership - Hello, i'm interested in buying an Alfa . - Romeo? - Juliet ?"

"So a neutron walks into a bar... So a nutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ""how much for a drink?"" bartender simply shrugs and replies, ""for you, no charge."""

"How do you titillate an ocelot? .... .... You oscillate its tit a lot"

"What does a sick billionaire say? ""I feel like a million bucks"""