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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Armenians drive? Because they're too busy swearing at obama! ba dum tss"

"[tortoise arguing with his gf] ""FINE IM LEAVING"" FINE [6 minutes later] are you going or not? ""THIS IS AS FAST AS I CAN GO KAREN"""

"I remember when people just wanted to date someone with personality..but noOoo, now everyone's gotta have multiple."

"Why did the porn-star get hit by a bus? She never saw it coming!!!"

"What do programmers and obese people have in common? They both call an 8-course meal a bite."

"Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!"

"Thought all these voices in my head meant I was crazy, but one of them is a therapist. And he says I'm fine."

"i like dropping off a tweet to FB & watch as everyone cautiously forms a circle around it, looking confused while prodding it with a stick."

"On a positive note, women with full hour glass figures don't have to wear watches."

"How do Asian's name their children? Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*"