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Joke of the Day

"What do programmers and obese people have in common? They both call an 8-course meal a bite."

"MAYBE PEACH JUST LIKES BOWSER A LOT AND WE'RE FOLLOWING A NARRATIVE OF MARIO THE DELUSIONAL HOMEWRECKER. *cops pull me from operating room*"

"""My Cocaine"" How Michael Caine says his name..."

"What do you call a group of ISIS members with their backs turned? A bunch of sissies."

"Sometimes I treat my depression, but other times we go dutch."

"I wouldn't trust atoms if I were you. They make up everything."

"What's the difference between a 6 month old and a 20 year old? About 6 garbage bags and 30 gallons of formaldehyde."

"Larry the Cable Guy show debuts on History Channel. Hitler says he's thrilled to share his network with his favorite comic."

"I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector... ...and everything seems to be in order here. *falls down/passes out*"

"What does a hungry clock do? He goes back four seconds."