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Joke of the Day

"""Why do rednecks act like such morons?'' ""Who says they're acting?"""

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"What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents? US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots."
"We won't know we've truly made it as a society until computers in movies stop making beeping noises"
"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race."
"I saw a Bible study once. It did really well on the exam."
"I was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction recently But I'm staying positive because I know it's not going to make life any harder"
"The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. ...Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder."
"Today I have learnt - if you try and give someone the finger whilst wearing mittens, you are basically just showing them your mittens."
"Raise your hands if you just completed a gymnastics routine."
"Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta"