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Joke of the Day

"I saw Adele at the train station the other day on the other platform She said 'hello from the other side'"

"Doctors would be pretty cool superheroes except for the fact their weakness is apples."

"Nostalgia Sure isn't what it used to be."

"An old man went to the doctor The doctor says ""I'm afraid I have bad news. You have cancer... And you have alzheimer's."" The old man says ""Well, at least I don't have cancer!"""

"Even at my age, I can still turn a lot of heads. It's mostly to see where the smell is coming from though."

"I accidentally gave my wife super glue instead of Chapstick She's still not talking to me."

"Take your husband's last name. Take his first name. Take his social. Assume his identity. Hide the body in a closet. You're the husband now."

"My idea to call our weekend bicycling group the ""Pedalphiles"" was not well-received AT ALL."

"I have been using teeth whitener, and now they are completely oblivious to the experiences and sufferings of other peoples."

"What do you call a retarded kid with no arms and one leg. Names."