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Joke of the Day

"What are the 7 Irish drinking holidays? Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday."

"Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis? Because it is below C level."

"I told my dog to ""Lie."" He said ""Meow."" Now I don't know what to do."

"What's the difference between a reindeer, a knight and a cock? The knight is slaying dragons, the reindeer is draggin' sleighs."

"What do you tell a girl who won't stop asking for a tampon? Put a sock in it."

"I had a boyfriend once....right up until the moment my dad asked him ""so what do you do?"" and he replied your daughter. He's Dead."

"[wife explaining to me how deaths in movies work] So the actors really don't die? ""No"" So is Abraham Lincoln really not dead? *she sighs*"

"What's the difference between a Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13"

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? It was two-tired"

"2 walruses walk into a bar.. the first walrus is swearing and acting extremly obnoxious, the second walrus turns to him and says ""tusk tusk"" Gotta love dad jokes"