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Joke of the Day

"What are the 7 Irish drinking holidays? Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday."

"Chickens making knock knock jokes. -Why did the chicken cross the road? -Are you kidding me? -To get to the ugly witches house. Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The chicken."

"What's the difference between Ellen Pao and a pitbull? Lipstick"

"If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet with intelligent life - lets just make patterns in their crop and leave."

"Dear whoever is playing sweet child o' mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!"

"What do you get when you put 50 Politicians in a room with 50 lesbians? 100 cunts that don't do dick."

"How many bees are there in the world? A buzzillion."

"How was copper wire invented? Two jews picked up the same penny simultaneously"

"Alexa, take down my Christmas decorations."

"Three words are having an argument... Had, Made, and Did were having a very heated argument. They became more and more agitated as the argument went on. It was beyond tense... It was past tense."