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Joke of the Day

"America is finally getting around to banning some dangerous weapons after the latest mass shooting Its a shame nobody was killed by a flag"

"""I'm not sure-"" wife: honey he's a zookeeper if he says these are koalas I trust him-aww look at them! *the raccoons hiss from the dumpster*"

"I always cried when my Dad chopped onions. Onions was a good dog."

"A good friend of mine drowned the other day We put a life jacket on his coffin, it's what he would have wanted."

"I apologised to my girlfriend last night for not being able to get an erection. There were no hard feelings whatsoever."

"Dark humor is like kids with cancer... Never gets old"

"Hey baby, do you like tan lines? Because I fell asleep with a badminton racquet on my face again and"

"How does Lady Gaga like her meat? raw raw raw raw raw"

"I'm a Mexican with a black belt Call me Juan Punch"

"a porn where both people are wearing nothing but Sketchers Shape-Ups"