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Joke of the Day

"*snail Olympics* How does it feel? ""Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon"" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? ""What"""

"April showers bring May flowers... ...but Mayflowers bring smallpox."

"Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, ""We are family, even though you're fatter than me."""

"*puts a DVD of 'Frozen' and a DVD of 'Dante's Peak' into the same DVD player* *'Waterworld' starts playing*"

"Nothing says ""I hope your birthday sucks as much as you do"" like an Applebees' gift card."

"Want to hear a sex joke? On second thought, you wouldn't get it. It's an insider joke."

"What do you call a fart from a paraplegic? Inert gas."

"Roast Pussy sandwich http://imgur.com/BnBLkkb"

"I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around."

"The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro."