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Joke of the Day
"Nothing says ""I hope your birthday sucks as much as you do"" like an Applebees' gift card."
Next Joke
"Two penguins are chilling in Antarctica. One turns to the other and says, ""Yo, it's really fucking cold."" The other quickly looks at the penguin and exclaims, ""Oh my god! You can talk!"""
"Why don't cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny."
"""Yo dad, did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?"" *dad checks & realises his mistake* ""you know what else isn't in here son? Adopted"""
"HR: Did you call Brenda fat? Me: No. I told her that based on her size, she should be more jolly. HR... Me: Big difference."
"Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg and some days you're that guy who hit the propeller on the way down."
"Why does Kim Jong Un love books Because he's the glorious Reader"
"What do you call a murderer who pours their mike before the cereal? A cereal killer!"
"Sometimes I'm depressed and then a girl stars one of my tweets and it's like YAAAAYYYY NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!"
"22,110! 22,109! 22,108! 22,107! 22,106! 22,105! 22,104! 22,103! 22,102! 22,101! 22,100! 22,099! 22,098! 22,097! 22,096! 22,095! 22,094!"