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Joke of the Day

"How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day? Barge into your neighbor's home and claim it as yours."

"If you watch an Apple store get robbed... Are you an iWitness?"

"Light a man a fire... Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man afire and he'll be warm the rest of his life. (I know it's a repost, but I've never seen the play on words, shame)"

"I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice"

"America elected Donald Trump And we're going toupee for it"

"Murphy said to his daughter ""I want you home by eleven o'clock."" She said ""But Father I'm no longer a child!"" He said ""I know that's why I want you home by eleven."""

"What do you call a female alligator? A galligator"

"Great, yet another drive-in movie ruined by the neighbors saying I can't park on their lawn and watch movies through the living room window."

"There are 4 black guys in a rectangular room. They divide evenly into the 4 corners. How many men are in each corner? 3/5"

"I used to do the ""hokey pokey""... But I turned myself around."