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Joke of the Day

"I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice"

"Out in public, my husband and I only argue using whale sounds, so it's actually a very calm and soothing experience for people around us."

"Did you hear about the group of Warriors eating Caviar? They Choked"

"i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it's becoming a problem"

"What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float ? That's my buoy !"

"probably the best joke rn your face..."

"My girlfriend told me peeing after sex prevents pregnancies... I don't know what I did wrong. I peed as hard as I could right after sex and she still got pregnant."

"A friend described me as a 'no maintenance' type And I have no idea whether to be happy or offended"

"CVS clerk: Receipt? Me: Sure *God uses 2 fingers to gently close the eyes of an entire rain forest*"

"I'd have to say, on a scale from 1 to Pee... urinate"