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Joke of the Day

"Light a man a fire... Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man afire and he'll be warm the rest of his life. (I know it's a repost, but I've never seen the play on words, shame)"

"Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl"

"Q: What is yellow and wears a mask? A: The Lone Lemon."

"Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life."

"Have You Heard The One About The Sheep? It's baaad..."

"Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face."

"What did the ghost say when he looked in the beehive? Boo-bees!"

"What do you call rude fungi? Shiit-talking mushrooms"

"Somebody parked in my spot and now I'm in the market for a rocket launcher."

"My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup."