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Joke of the Day

"Research shows that in 100% of cases, when someone says ""Oh no she didn't!"", she in fact, did."

"The last Post-It note in a pack should be a preprinted reminder to pick up more Post-It notes."

"The song ""Hotel California"" could never be admitted into evidence in a court of law. It's entirely hearsay (he said/she said)"

"Job openings. A female HR calls a guy: Lady: Sir, I have two openings. Man: Yes, I know. The lady hangs up."

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

"I don't know if this is a good idea. Narrator: He knew, in fact, it was an awful idea."

"What did the 3 tampons say when they walked past you? Nothing! They were all stuck up bitches..."

"Got a message from the anti virus app on my phone telling me Twitter was safe. Clearly, the app isn't reading your tweets or looking at pics"

"I'm okay with selling fake ID's to minors because they're all organ donor cards."

"Everytime you pull the trigger a bullet loses its job...HAHAHAHA! Because it gets FIRED. HAHAHA! *I'm in tears*"